i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
