Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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