What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Randomize
