I don't think brook has ever known best
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
