My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I checked into jail on foursquare
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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