Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
