You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
