i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
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