It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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