you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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