Need sex. Gaining weight.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
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