They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
