So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
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