Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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