In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
