I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
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