You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
