ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
