Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
