So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
