your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Randomize
