Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
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