Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
