i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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