I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
