you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
the day after is always just damage control
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
