the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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