There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
