Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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