i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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