I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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