no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
