I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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