is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
