Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
