Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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