you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize