I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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