Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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