STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
