My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize