You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize