i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
