And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
so explain again why im purple
no
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
