Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
