I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
