Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
