Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Jerry, you need to find god
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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