literally had 100 drinks last night.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
there was a trapeze. enough said
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
