I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
