i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I just had sex on a roof
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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