small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
