Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
thus making me awesome and them whores
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I just want nice things and good sex
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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