need another drink. this is the easiest way
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
