FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
