Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
