She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Too much gin, very little bucket
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
