Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
