you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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