just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
