Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Randomize
